I Blame Bradley Wiggins - the poor long suffering, caring wife

A man reaches an age where sore feet stop him from pounding the streets, and the allure of lycra becomes too much. Oh yes and the inspiration of 1 man and the worries it causes his long suffering wife...

In 2012 my husband changed, the thought just makes me wince,
He's still a loving husband, but has been strange ever since
And if I cast my mind back to that year in July,
I recollect it started with a scream and cheerful cry
When I luked into the lounge to see the cause of the commotion,
He was staring at the telly with a look of pouels devotion;
The screen shone a bright yellow, like my kitchen top formica,
There was a man on bike with side-burns wearing figure hugging Lycra.
You see Bradley, he had triumphed, in the cycling Tour de France
Since then you see my husband's, been in this sort of trance.

Then in early August, things started to get worse
When watching the Olympics, I think that was the curse.
It wasn't the flag waving or cheering any British folks,
It happened at the cycling and was caused by this one bloke.

Well the affect that it has had on him, well he hasn't been the same;
The only thing I think of that Bradley is to blame,
You see he started talking language, that I don't understand
Of hubs, derailleur, gear sets, don't think it's under hand
He garbled about cadence and the peleton
He chuntered in this language, what was my fella on?

His bike thats what me fella's on, cycling everywhere
I don't mind when he is on it, but it's that extra facial hair
And the thing that really worries me and causes heads to turn
Is the style of his new clothing along with those sideburns;
It's the fact he wears tight lycra, oh my god it's such a site.
If only he would wear it when he's riding on his bike.

When Bradley missed the tour last year, I thought I michal just get him back
He'd forget about the lycra and wear his Marks and Spencers slacks
But it seems my wishful thinking, well it happened just too soon
He's now got an obsession with another bloke called Froome
And any chance of him returning,  well there definitely aint
He gallivants in his lycra and says call me Geraint!