Prudential Ride 100 Giggs Hill Green Hub

Kings of bouncy castle, Kings of the roads,
Heading to Kingston, oh how they rode!
Thousands on thousands, cyclists came in their droves?
Brothers & sisters sharing the load.

Unsure on the weather, Giggs Hill Hub on the green,
The rain of last evening; may need submarine!
Fairground attractions, kept weather at bay,
The sound of the cycling swept rain drops away.

Hum of those wheels, those tiring legs wind,
Finding the respite, now hills left behind;
Beating of drums, or pans, kitchen sinks,
Waving those flags, on Green glasses chink,

Reasons for riding emblazoned on chests,
Hearts of inspiring, if needing a rest.
Floods of sweat, tears; all the changing of gears,
Steering to London? In sight now it nears!

Pink Princess Alice Hospice with white battle bus,
Creating the music, information and stuff,
Local bands playing , entertaining the crowds,
Cheering the throng, full voice and out loud!

Enjoyment for all, selling beer and some grub,
Treasure hunt action in Giggs Hill Green Hub;
Come and get tattoos they're just 50p,
Or play 5-a-side with Esher FC!

Standing, tiered seating a glance at the fleeting,
Professionals race by, what a rhythm they're beating,
The whoosh of the wheels, a clean pair of heels,
With wind in their faces, we know how it feels!

Gone in a flash the day it is done
And thankfully at last some late evening sun,
To all those who came to will those wheels round
Thank you and hopefully we raised healing pounds!

Good Evans Fix em

Trouble with your trusty steed,
Or one that's rusty and just needs,
Some love care and attention?

Whether folding bike with cycle clips,
Or used for occasional shopping trips,
We've relevant qualifications!

Look take a trip to Evans Cycles
Prices that won't take the michael
To repair and give inspection!

Here today to repair and fix,
Our technicians have all the tricks,
To ensure your satisfaction!

Carbon bikes, it might seem random
We can even service tandems;
We thought that worth a mention!

Yorkshire Lass Sportive

Time for the Sportive. Whether you are or you're not,
Get on your bike, we don't give a jot.
Swap netball skirt with all of its pleats,
To chamois shorts with your cycle shoe cleats!

Farewell to hockey skorts, say hello to the lycra
Yorkshire Lass Cycling Club will certainly inspire yer

There'll be fun on the way, they'll help you get round

Challenge, achievement, support will be found;

In the tea rooms supplying you replenishing cakes,
There'll be fuel gels too, if it's a more serious take.

Come and join in, be relaxing be fun,
Forging new friendships, with hopefully some sun.

Get on your bike it is a great course,
Keep an eye out for that bloody great horse,
Start is in Thirsk, for some Yorkshire fresh air,
August the 20th, we'll see you there!

Yorkshire Lass CC

If you've been inspired by t Olympics
On velodrome or road
Get on your bike and join us chicks
Cycling's so in vogue

You don't have to be Lizzie Armistead
A bike is all you need
Come on girls get out of bed
Escape how you'll be freed

Take part without the scowls
Mamils please move out the way
Make way for us the Owls
Old blokes you've had your day

Riding out from Wetherby
Exercise the bike and mind
Such views and fine Dales revelry
Hidden treasures for you to find

And if the thought of lycra
Your enthusiasm it crops
Theres a team of lovely lady Tykes
To encourage with tea stops!

Feel free to come and join us
On sportives or gentle rides
Its fun without a lot of fuss
We're like the new girl guides!

Yorkshire Spirit Sportive

Like Boudiccas on bicycles,
Jovial Joan of Arcs!
I'm sure it is advisable,
To Yorkshire! On your marks!

Your personal Norman conquests,
Own Battles of Agincourt;
Together you will give your best,
With this quest for more.

A thirst for Thirsk, own Waterloos,
The spirit of Dunkirk,
Resilience of our QE2,
You grafters will not shirk!

Cameraderie built upon 2 wheels,
Earning spurs to encourage on,
Wills of iron and Sheffield steel,
I hope with the odd song!

Now all be crowned Queens of the road,
Competitive streaks at stake,
Honesty's policy within our souls:
We'll be serving tea n cakes!

Grass

I’m obsessed with my grass.
I’ve decided it’s down alas,
To my own sad lack of coverage.
A substitute for my thinning thatch
A topiary toupee of colours that match
I should stick to an alcoholic beverage.
 
An attempt to make it thick with bounce
I better not mention an odd ounce,
When referring to my obsession.
And words like weed could be misconstrued
Depending on how it has been viewed
There’s no need for a confession.
 
My love of grass and hate of weeds
Means a ceaseless spread of seeds,
To cover the balding patches.
My tendered lawn that’s always watered
Forever fed I feel I’m tortured
By weeds with endless hatches.
 
Moss keep off, I’ve decreed no weeds.
Yet they always appear and my heart now bleeds
To end this ceaseless fight.
And I feel that now I must give in
But those weeds they shall not win.
I’ll wage war once more against this blight.
 
So on to scarify and rarify
And seaweed strength to fortify,
To feed the lawn to give me hope
Against those dreaded dandelions
That infest and shackle me in irons.
A cry for help to a retired Pope!
 
Feeding lawns with Grass conditioner and aftercut
More like a salon than a garden hut.
I’ll call on laws long arms or truncheon
To keep grass green and weeds well fought
And take it to the highest court.
Weeds here’s a super injunction!
 
Oh for my love of grass and tendered lawns
Those weeds now make me so forlorn
At tethers’ end and almost fled.
Rescue me from these tormentors
Perhaps I should call upon cementers
And have a patio instead!