Tour De Yorkshire

I've sent my whippets to Walthamstow,

Pigeons to Trafalgar Square;
My front lawn needs a cut and mow,

My canaries could do with care!

Old hobbies are being neglected,

In favour of something new;

My shed's full of bikes selected,

To keep fit and healthy too.

No garden forks, just carbon forks,

As well as my lycra kit;

Leads to some with eyes on stalks

Come on this is it!

Since Harry left his Guiseley place,

There's no more fish and chips;
Said goodbye to newspaper plates,

Isotonic drinks one sips!

Farewell flat cap it's now a kask
Since Dickie Bird last raised his finger
Why at last is this you ask
There's change, no time to linger

Out with roast and Yorkshire puds

Now protein shakes and gels
Said farewell to roast for good
It's them that belly swells

It's cycling that inspires for sure,

The County's Grand depart;

Beginning of Le Tour de Yorkshire

It's the start to race the heart.

There's no more grim inscriptions,

On dark satanic mills;
Just beautiful descriptions,

Of Yorkshire's Dales and Hills!

Cycling's now set out its stall,

Built a bright new Yorkshire brand
That's as sturdy as them dry stone walls

That adorn the county's land.

To the people of Yorkshire who aided

A toast! With Tea in hand!

And of course we'll be serenaded

by  Brighouse & Rastrick Band!

Tour de Yorkshire

I used to go to bakery, I used to walk for 't bread,
But I don't like walking anymore, I like to ride me bike instead.
Since they told us o Tour de Yorkshire, God's own county's Grand Depart,
Well I dusted off me tricycle, now where is the start?
I've begun me preparation they'll need me for the race
Although I'll have to do more practising if I'm to set the pace.
It's bloody hilly round here and full of cobbled streets
At my age they say no cycling I should stick to my two feet;
I need a risk assessment? Nay lad I'll be reet,
I'm ready and I'm able I will have them beat.

I'm sure the other residents they look at me and frown,
As they see me struggle up them hills, they see me racing down.
It's a bugger goin up them hills, like our finest Grand Old Duke
And them cobbles when I'm going down, well they shake me till I puke.
I've had to buy more Fix-o-dent to keep me teeth in t' face
Them cobbles are right bleeders and t teeth chatter out of place.
I hope my brakes will hold out when I come down wi' me bread
I dont want a wreath wi' teeth in saying the silly buggers bled.
He should have walked to bakery and left that bike in shed

If he'd have left it t' professionals he wouldn't end up dead!

Thank you to the Tearooms of the National Trust

Autumn's age approaching,
Its time to make the best;
So I've taken now to bicycling
And its giving me new zest.

I maybe Lycra clad,
But still got some hair and graces,
Please don't think me sad,
Like to ride to favourite places.

I'm Strava'd up, don't stop me,
Got new Virtual friends,
Like a big kid on my Chopper,
Childhood never ends.

Head off towards the Surrey Hills,
On the elixir of youth,
Keeping Autumn light from spills?
Am I too long in the tooth?

Receding hairline shrouded,
In helmet's mist of time.
My lycra's overcrowded,
Can't hide autumnal lines.

If I'm tiring as I pedal,
Know there's one treat just for me.
Better than any gold medal,
it's the thought of a pot of tea.

A goal that keeps me going,
My disappearing aches,
As I weave with to and froing,
It's that treat of tea and cakes!

So keep those pedals circling,
Like vultures in the sky,
Soon I shall be hurtling,
Into  tea and apple pie.

On the hillside debris strewn,
Of broken hopes and dreams.
In need of NT tea room,
The jam, the scones, the screams!

Leith Hill and Box Hill inclines,
Newlands Corner's place of rest,
For weary legs, big waistlines
Of the new cycling obsessed.

Revived with cups of tea
After my gut has just been bust,
Releasing me to cycle free,
Thanks to the National Trust!

On the hillside debris strewn
Of broken hopes and dreams
In need of NT tea room
The jam, the scones, the screams!

Thank you tearoom finery,
You will get us home,
On our new fangled machinery
And our freshly creaking bones,

So thank you to the tearooms,
We will make it, just!
Oh thank you to the tearooms
Of the fabulous National Trust!

England Cricket 2015 Ashes in a poem

From elation down in Cardiff
What a lead we had earned
Our upper lips with pride now stiff
Could we win back precious Urn?

On towards the home of cricket
To the chastening of Lords
The lip now bruised and bloodied
When we were put to sword

But at Edgbaston resurgence
Bells begin to chime once more
Root's continued emergence
The heart of England's core

Finn reborn on English turf
Anderson well tried
To taunt the Aussies in their surf
And of course there is Broadside

So now onto Trent Bridge
Watch series ebb and flow
Nerves all on a knife edge
How will installment go?

Captain Cook asks for focus
Barks for great Endeavour
Tells the team it's about us
Ashes thoughts forever!

A Phoenix from the ashes
Last series such disdain
"A victory!" Cook despatches
The Ashes be regained!

An opening day all will remember
100 balls is all it takes
Aussie attack dismembered
By Broad who figures eight

The catches stick the bowling quick
Is all what it seams?
The swinging ball the Ashes nicked
This is the day of dreams!

Captain Cook now plays his part
Oh yes it comes to those
Root and Bairstow show their heart
How proud to wear Wh'trose!

Day two it needs another
The Aussies attack be choked
Not famous A N other
But none other than Ben Stokes

A patient day all play their tune
Will those wickets fall?
Catches slip they will come soon
And of course there's those no balls!

He's one hand on the Ashes
The lips to kiss and earn
Respect from all Cook bashes
Oh how the tables turn!

Captain Cook asks for focus
Barks for great Endeavour
Tells the team it's about us
Ashes thoughts forever!

A Phoenix from the ashes
Last series such disdain
"A victory!" Cook despatches
The Ashes be regained!

Six nations Rugby - The Grand Slam 2016

The nightmare passed today, we woke
The soothsayer Jones had spoke
Of days like this, no joke
To play and win not choke

Those mental scars of last year healed
The memories now remain concealed
Buried beneath, not be revealed
But remind us when we take the field

That World Cup pain, oh how it ended
The branding from those burning embers
Loses! Everyone remembers
Drives us on, how it offend us !

For 13 years chances spurned
But now the tide has turned
Our favours now returned
I O Us of course be burned

The mantra is now one of trust
Self belief , just go and bust
A gut, let others taste your dust
World cup memory left to rust.
 
The winning journey has begun
This Grand Slam has been won
By victorious prodigal sons
Onwards to the land of the rising sun!

Polycom VVX Handsets

Just in case you needed to learn about the VVX handset range from Polycom. This might help!

The VVX handset range,
With our HD voice;
It's clearly reassuring,
And offers lots of choice.
 
For Office 365, VVX phones are certified 
Include PBX features, as well as optimized.
Polycom defined hardware and our interface,
It requires phone provisioning we develop at a faster pace.
We support the hardware, our software is bespoke
If there's any problem, you've just one throat to choke!
 
VVX have HD and acoustic clarity,
Electronic hook switch, with multiple line keys.
Support for Bluetooth headset, as well as USB.
Touch screen user interface, responsive and clear,
Add expansion modules makes it easier calls to steer.

We block out the background noise,
enhance your experience.
Irritation cancelling 
With acoustic fence!

Better together over Ethernet
Helps phone configuration.
You can also surf the internet
And there’s calender integration.
Boss Admin capabilities
Shows the art of delegation;
The call rings simultaneous,
On Boss and Admin stations.
Make calls on behalf of your boss
And answer for them too,
Let them pick the calls up,
Or you can always put them through!
 
Call Park is quite handy;
On hold uses the same line,
Call park sends to orbit,
Up to eight lines at a time.
It generates orbit number,
Please make a mental note,
Pick up on another handset
And the orbit number quote
 
If you want someone to pick it up;
You’ve got another call,
They can use a compatible handset,
Dial the orbit number that’s all.

Meet now functionality for conference calls adhoc,
See your buddies presence invite and call them up.
Push to talk and paging, you can set up many groups,
Include them in your work streams and keep them in the loop.
 
 
Customise the handsets, set the background scene
Use the your corporate logo to occupy the screen.
Upload video content, play back on the phone
HD video quality with crisp clear audio tone.

Sleek and smooth and solid, the quality does not lack
Both Microsoft and open SIP they do support dual stack
Oh they're such a glorious sight, now something to behold
Poor frustrated users, there’s now music on hold!

The Changing Room

A bit of motivation

As you sit upon the changing, bench gathering your thoughts,
Staring at the concrete floor, focusing on nought.
This is just another game, but on a bigger stage,
Take your chance to write  your name on this historic page.
Prepared for peak performance,
Mentally you bet
Ready for the challenge, crouch mind set!

Your feet are gently tapping, no nerves would be untrue,
But the sound of studs on concrete floor what does it mean to you?
Everything and everyone, in that sound it's found
Nerves transformed and channelled to that haunting tapping sound 
Of studded boots on hallowed ground that echoes all around.
Calm yourself, control your thoughts, you mustn't peak too early.
There's experience in this changing room, deep breaths will now help surely.

You are only as good as this next game,
To the grind stone once again
But remember your magnificence of all past games and then,
Your skill and dedication will certainly bring more.
Bottle all those positives your greatest still in store,
This is your time get ready, you'll play your best game yet;
Come on England's finest crouch bind set!

The drip of perspiration that collects on furrowed brow;
We know this salt like teardrop but keep controlled for now.
Your passion what it means to you, soon we'll see it flow
When the anthems start, your toughened shell, emotion now on show.

Tight bonding in the changing room, just one last final squeeze
As you step out of the changing room to Twickenham's sweetest breeze.
That sound of studs now echoes as you walk out one by one 
But you know you are together as you stride in union
To the chants and cheers of Twickenham; the roaring has begun.
Remember, we are with you, you live our dreams and hopes
The whole squad and you lucky ones, you 15 Glorious blokes
You know you're not alone as you wear our English Rose
Come on England's finest let's #carrythemhome

Six Nations Rugby France v England Match day

Oh come on England's Chariot
Encamped in Paris fair
Welcomed by their Gallic friends
Can they stem their flair?

Once more unto the breach dear friends
Is the cry with which we're met
It starts at every moment
And of course there's crouch bind set!

Stiffen all those sinews
Prepare for each onslaught
Repel all of those phases
Defend and give them nought

There's no such thing as easy games
when playing at this level
It's a little thing - execution
Call it detail's devil

Don't leave it in the changing room
nor on the training pitch
Take it with you on your shirt and 
With twinkle toes bewitch

The games afoot my dear friends
It's time to out perform
Come on all let's hit them hard
It's time for Honfleur storm

English followers are behind you
We know Trafalgar's duty
Come on you Sweetest Chariot
You are a thing of beauty

Its time to stamp authority
Taste victory so sweet
Your time to make some history
But please think on your feet!

Wear the shirt with honour
Best you all play out your skin
On come on English finest
The Grand Slam you can win!

Six Nations Rugby France v England

The Championship neatly packed inside the bag,
To Paris, the English like rutting stags.
Defences shored and pride restored, 
This English team can't be ignored.
Heads held high, job not quite done
The Grand Slam challenge still to be won!

The World Cup ghosts finally laid to rest,
Although haunting Welsh put to the test.
Welsh first half lacked the passion and fire
Their championship dashed in a funeral pyre.
The chariot rumbled in a fine procession
English strength? They kept possession!

Precision was sharp, like clinician's incision;
Accuracy tight, made decisions with vision.
Immense Itoje , turned over ball 
A firm foundation of new fortress wall!
Execution key, hands up be counted
With pride bring on this French encounter!

The forwards grinning, four from four
The thirst of backs oh just one more;
So on to France a smouldering giant?
Will they turn over and be compliant?
Their Scottish loss showed fits and starts,
Do they have one win left in their hearts?

I have a hunch that this "Le Crunch!"
Will be won by the English bunch
Of players who wear the bright red rose,
A team rebuilding, where confidence grows
Who've had to swallow that bitter pill
But are now showing they have the will;

To savour the taste of victory sweet,
No Grand Slam agony! Oh no repeat!
They've been together, through thick and thin
And taken criticism on the chin.
They sampled pain, now tell your story.
Its time to bask in all your glory!
"Greatness awaits," says General Jones
Come on England lets #CarryThemHome !

Six Nations Rugby England v Wales

The Welsh destroyer of our world cup dreams,
Can they rip grand slam thoughts at the seams?
Two wins, one draw they've come for more
To steal the championship from our door!

Revenge is a dish best served cold 
The memories return, they'd remained untold.
September day, a burning ember
The dragons fire oh we remember!

Men of Harlech's battle calling,
Ready to give an English mauling.
Injury depleted hearts of desire
Heat of Sosban Fach it did inspire!

The heartache, the pain we were undone.
With Welsh passion we were overcome.
The twisting knife, no last ditch kick
Lineout lost, cut to the quick!

But now new fortress foundations laid
A Phoenix rises, debts be repaid.
New General Jones the wily fox,
Can fix with new tricks in his box!

Hartley hares from scrum to scrum,
The towering pack knows what be done.
Finer balance in the new back row
As we watch Vunipola rumble so.

Creative backs, stern in defence
Can send the Welsh from whence
They came, over Brecon Beacon Hill
Oh take your wilting daffodil!

St George send David Cardiff bound
Chase and Harry go and hound
Don't let them settle, no quick ball
Cheered on by the Twickenham roar!

Nullify Roberts the Welsh wrecking ball,
It's time to make the mighty fall!
Board your chariots of desire
Extinguish burning dragons fire!

The backs with power and twinkle toes,
They wear with pride our English Rose.
The talking's done, no more time to speak
English scythe cut short the leek!

Almighty clash it will unfold,
Take your bow of burning gold
To pierce the heart of dragons fire
Inspired by chariot of desire!

Momentum building three from three
At home again let demons free
Erase from minds World Cup headstone
Come on England let's #CarryThemHome!