No More Road Rage in Thames Ditton

The village of Thames Ditton

So lovely and so quaint

In Domesday book we're written

But built for cars we aint

St Leonards Road, the High Street

Cars parked aside the road

Drive careful it's a tight squeeze

On Station and Watts Road

The roads in our proximity

Are full of cars and vans

We don't like any toxicity

When walking out with prams

If you happen to drive thru

We're not a fast food take away

But a busy bustling village true

Not some dual carriage way

It requires a certain patience

Let oncoming traffic through

Especially if by the station

We'll thank you it if you do

We're of certain era

We're of a certain age

Instructions can't be clearer

Please no more road rage

No place for single finger salutes

This will cause much scorn

In our approach we're resolute

No more beeping horns

When stopping behind the parked cars

Or at pedestrian lights

Stay calm we want no lasting scars

Please be nice, polite

Be sensible with your parking

Leave a gap or two

For people to wait in

Let oncoming traffic through

Your car we know's important 

If doing the school run

You've Busy lives and time is scant

It's stressful and not fun

We'd appreciate it kindly 

And this is what we'd  like

If you're coming to Thames Ditton

Please walk or ride your bike!

Thames Ditton Farmers Market

Take a stroll around the market,
Come and see our wares,
Taste and sample, there is ample,
Delights for you to share!

We start with Giggly Pig Sausages,

Outdoor reared packed in tidy packages

Taste Ringden Farm pears nice and juicey

Smoosh Acai Bar for Smoosh bowls and their smoothies

Secretts Veg , oh how I wonder

What delights available from our fresh fishmongers?

Catch for crab cakes fish cakes whole

Portland for Turbot and Dover sole

Artisan Bakers, Celtics fresh sourdough bread,

Artists paintings, portraits ahead!

Cheddar traditional Matured Batch Farm cheese;

Lets go on the Hunts Hill for their free range meats.

Sussex pies, there are no surprises,

They're everso good, they've won many prizes

Cote dei Signori fine Olive Oil
Extra Virgin from Sicilan toil

For Sweet toothed patisserie there's Folie Macaron

Layered meringue cakes for celebration

Intersection of cookie and cake wakey wakey

Desire quenched by Laugan's fair Cakies!

Nut Knowle farm pasteurised Goats cheese

Oak chipping Sussex Smokers curing their meats.

V J Game - venison and wild boar galore
Master butcher has much more in store.

Bee inspired with soothing skin creams

Kingston go cycles, new cycle path dreams

Sauces from Manny, Anila who'll win

Hush a quiet drink by Silent Pool Gin

Three Olive Trees, black, green, pitted, stuffed
Whatever way we hope that you're chuffed!
As are we - We hope you're now smitten
With our Farmers Market in Thames Ditton!

The Train Commute

The stench of Commuting Train:
Its odour, the whiff, the smell;
The daily grind of living hell.
The cattle truck crammed;
Cows, pigs, chickens, sheep
Crumpled, cramped and slammed
Inside pig pen in heap.
Some seated, standing room for most;
The pits! The sweated boast,
The grunt of sow,
The moo of sacred cow.
To market, black mark it!
Chatter of hens in chicken coop.
The written scoop of daily commute;
Standard, Metro gossip galore,
Fight tedium with closed eye snore!
Or stare at smart phone snare,
The portal, escape tunnel's light laid bare.
Long hot Summer days, the neighs,
The yays of Brexit bound.
The sound, the rattle of the cattle track.
The scent of Southern striking, soured, smacks
The livestock market death of rolling stuff.
Enough!
A sink hole drains the life,
Another daily strife;
With heavy air this stinking train,
And yes of course we're late again!

To the Winners!

To be a winner, you need a loser!
Someone who plays their part,
Gives their heart,
Not the plodder, nor the fodder.
Who give whole soul,
To achieve their goal,
But fall short of desired result;
There's no insult,
Their's is no shame,
They made the game!
In coming second,
It's not what they reckoned,
Not what intended,
But how it ended.
The valiant, the vanquished, the anguished
Their light extinguished.
The inches, the yard, the feet.
The difference between the win - defeat!
There is no shame, be not abuser,
To be a winner you need a loser!

Not everyone can win,
The margin can be thin.
For some the best team won.
For others,
Wrong side of coin's toss, a loss;
Hangs round the neck this albatross!
Nothing is left out on the field,
Is it fate, where victory's sealed?
They toil, they try with all their might,
Put up such ferocious fight,
Compete in head to head;
Come second when all is said!
On the day, it's not their day,
They'll have their day one day.
The wait maybe much longer
Their come back will be stronger.
Experience - hope you learned;
Respect it must be earned.
Not everyone can win you see,
Winners enjoy  sweet victory;
Losers back to the drawing board,
But please God don't be overawed;
The Phoenix rises, spring surprises
Your time will come it's not a crisis.
Congratulate the victors with their feat,
Be magnanimous in defeat.
Onto sorrow drowning down the boozer,
Every winner needs a loser!

Belief

With your back to the wall when you're down in Melbourne,
On the line is your body once more.
You've given your soul, you're battered and worn
Take heart and look at the score!

Phase after phase you've tackled and felled
But Australia will never give up;
Together your teamwork will keep them repelled,
It's time to make your own luck!

With Robshaw wired, he's here and inspired,
He's taken some crap on the chin,
But he takes deep breath in, he's stoked and he's fired
And he knows that you never give in.

The villains of last year you poor world cup zeros
The judge says your sentence is quashed!
Prodigal sons you'll come home as heroes
With the Wallabies 3-0 White washed!

Look in the mirror and look at your mates
Together see what you've achieved;
That glint in the eye of New English greats
And its all because you believed!

Garage Bill

Bloody Hell! My ML bill,

Means I'll have to change my will!

Mercedes Benz my Hades friends

How much to look under the grille?

A warning light that flashes on;
Turn the key, it's sometimes gone.
Mercedes Benz inflation sends

The charge into oblivion!

Safety is our priority
That's why the bills so high you see

Mercedes Benz can money lend?

Or just take a look for free?

No extortion racket, we'll fix a bracket

Honesty we do not lack it

Mercedes Benz will fix a sens(or)

Corresponding charge to crack it!

Flaming Zafiras

Don't be in fear of

Your Vauxhall Zafira.

It hurts us and it shames,

That some burst into flames!

And isn't it exciting,
The thought of it igniting;
When doing the school run,
Going down the shops, it's fun!

A car that families all desire:

Doubles as a camping fire,

On all those family trips,

Ging-Gang Goolies have been gripped!

Our guidance we hope is nice and clear,

We'll contact you all some time next year,

With further instructions,

If you you've had no self destructions!

It's no use petitioning,
Don't use the air conditioning,

Just demisting your screens,

Full fan hides all of your screams!

Safety's recommendation:
Stay near a fire station.
Our aid it comes in spades,
Have speed dial for fire brigades!

Dont fan the flames of fear,

We will still be here,
With our lifeline number buoyed

If your car's not been destroyed!

Don't be in fear of
Your Vauxhall Zafira
NCAP rating five
Will ensure you stay alive!