Tour de Yorkshire

I used to go to bakery, I used to walk for 't bread,
But I don't like walking anymore, I like to ride me bike instead.
Since they told us o Tour de Yorkshire, God's own county's Grand Depart,
Well I dusted off me tricycle, now where is the start?
I've begun me preparation they'll need me for the race
Although I'll have to do more practising if I'm to set the pace.
It's bloody hilly round here and full of cobbled streets
At my age they say no cycling I should stick to my two feet;
I need a risk assessment? Nay lad I'll be reet,
I'm ready and I'm able I will have them beat.

I'm sure the other residents they look at me and frown,
As they see me struggle up them hills, they see me racing down.
It's a bugger goin up them hills, like our finest Grand Old Duke
And them cobbles when I'm going down, well they shake me till I puke.
I've had to buy more Fix-o-dent to keep me teeth in t' face
Them cobbles are right bleeders and t teeth chatter out of place.
I hope my brakes will hold out when I come down wi' me bread
I dont want a wreath wi' teeth in saying the silly buggers bled.
He should have walked to bakery and left that bike in shed

If he'd have left it t' professionals he wouldn't end up dead!