I Blame Bradley Wiggins - the MAMIL

The husband who has reached that ripe old age and likes to fill his lycra and the Surrey hills with the Help of Kingston Borough Council. Inspired of course by one man.....

My missus is quite angry, she thinks I've gone quite mad,

Since Sir Bradley won the tour you see, cycling’s been me fad.

So I worship Bradley Wiggins, where's the harm in that?

And I love donning the Lycra she says that I look like a prat.

Though the outfit isn't flattering, can't hide my mid-life spread,

I'm trying to reduce my paunch a bit before I end up dead.

Life revolves around my bicycle, use Kingston’s cycle paths.

No more need for motor cars, now see how I laugh!

She doesn't understand my pain, she knows not of my plight.

It’s called a mid-life crisis, all I want’s to ride my bike.

She needs to count her chickens, don't want a new Thai bride,

All I wants to mount my bike and just go out and ride!

It's a crisis, it's my mid-life, it's austerity

I've taken to the cycling which is much more fun for free.

With the blue skies and the scenery in those Surrey Hills,

Means getting lots of exercise and cutting down on pills.

So Sir Bradley, I am trying, to stay within your wake,

The mutterings of my lady wife, how much can I take?

I'll follow how you're doing in the time trial and the tours

And continue with me cycling risking wrath of her indoors.

And now Kingston Council have banned cars from the road

I can cycle up the Portsmouth Road to my home abode

People think I’m crazy they’re putting up their banners

But it really isn’t me that’s mad. It’s Kingston Borough’s Town Planners!