Tour De Yorkshire

I've sent my whippets to Walthamstow,

Pigeons to Trafalgar Square;
My front lawn needs a cut and mow,

My canaries could do with care!

Old hobbies are being neglected,

In favour of something new;

My shed's full of bikes selected,

To keep fit and healthy too.

No garden forks, just carbon forks,

As well as my lycra kit;

Leads to some with eyes on stalks

Come on this is it!

Since Harry left his Guiseley place,

There's no more fish and chips;
Said goodbye to newspaper plates,

Isotonic drinks one sips!

Farewell flat cap it's now a kask
Since Dickie Bird last raised his finger
Why at last is this you ask
There's change, no time to linger

Out with roast and Yorkshire puds

Now protein shakes and gels
Said farewell to roast for good
It's them that belly swells

It's cycling that inspires for sure,

The County's Grand depart;

Beginning of Le Tour de Yorkshire

It's the start to race the heart.

There's no more grim inscriptions,

On dark satanic mills;
Just beautiful descriptions,

Of Yorkshire's Dales and Hills!

Cycling's now set out its stall,

Built a bright new Yorkshire brand
That's as sturdy as them dry stone walls

That adorn the county's land.

To the people of Yorkshire who aided

A toast! With Tea in hand!

And of course we'll be serenaded

by  Brighouse & Rastrick Band!