Monday, 28 November 2016

England v Australia Dec 2016

From 14 players to 14 wins this week,
Is this the confidence with which we speak?
What is the secret of Eddie's conundrum?
Creating momentum, doing the hum drum!

Execution of the game in hand,
Let pundits talk of unbeaten slams,
Fish n chips, wooden fork with 'styrene tray,
Simple game plan this Saturday.

Players have the blue print for all "What ifs?"
The chance to use their skill and gifts.
Play the game from what they see ahead;
Have set plays but use their heads!

Australian grand slam dashed hope in Dublin,
Revenge on their minds are looking for trouble in
Twickenham, as whitewash lays its heavy weight;
Cuts deep, with Eddie and his press bait!

Can resurgent Wallabys find that extra form?
Can England manage that early storm?
They have the backs to cut to shreds,
England no penalties don't lose those heads!

Defence is key against those backs,
First up tackles to stem attacks;
Cheika knows balanced tightly in the scrum
How to unpick England, they can be undone.

England expects no press disrespect!
But for Eddie this will be the best win yet.
Strength in depth, eye for the common goal
Confidence, belief, keeps this team whole!

Grind them down, hit them hard;
Send them your own seasons greeting card;
End the year on a mighty high,
Come on England! Just one more try!

Sunday, 27 November 2016

14 Believe

With your back to the wall when you're down to fourteen,
On the line is your body once more.
You've given your soul, you're battered, you bleed
Take heart and look at the score!

Phase after phase you've tackled and felled
Argentina will never give up;
Together your teamwork will keep them repelled,
It's time to make your own luck!

With Robshaw wired, he's here and inspired,
He's taken some crap on the chin,
He takes deep breath in, he's stoked and he's fired
And he knows that you never give in.

The villains of last year you poor world cup zeros
The judge says your sentance is quashed!
Prodigal sons you Twickenham heroes
13 wins on the spin you've white washed!

Look in the mirror and look at your mates
Together see what you've achieved;
That glint in the eye of New English greats
And its all because you believed!

Friday, 25 November 2016

England v Argentina

12 conquests under my command
Another one is what I demand
Excellence push the playing boundaries
These players moulded in english foundaries
Out of the shallow now into the deep
Victory focus keep clean sweep
Its time to play the master stroke
No need to fix if it ain't broke

Pumas bred on prime Pampas beef
Hope to cause the English grief
Pushed Scots close in Murrayfield
At Twickenham they will not yield
Pride of the Argentine this fierce pack
In England - Twickenham renewed attack
Sublime backs who are full of pace
A chance to rile get in the English face

But Eddie knows he has the squad,
the odds in favour to keep down trod
Take on the beef with fish n chips
Full of beans as Eddie quips
Execute play all the phases
Their last hurrah as England braces
Play at speed back row hunt and roam
Dominate the scrum to #CarryThemHome

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

#GrandTour


Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
The way that Jeremy does present
Leads to many who resent
At least he's not been voted for
Or elected US President
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
Series content full of lip
Driving down the Vegas strip
At least he's not been voted for
The Leader of UKIP
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #Grandtour
He may think him sinister
Own medicine administer
At least he's not been voted for
The new UK Prime Minister
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
I am sure that Clarkson does annoy
Makes Brian throw about his toy
At least he's not been voted for
The US special envoy
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
With his childish behaviour
Antics grate him more and more
At least he's not been voted for
United States Ambassador
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
With comments that are quite innate
That make some people so irate
At least he's not been voted for
Curator of the Tate
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
Cars racing across the screen
Comments that are quite obscene
At least he's not been voted for
The Leader of the Greens
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
Talk of cars and this and this
Will he meet his nemesis
At least he's not been voted for
Lead singer of group Genesis
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
Car emissions so filthy
No producer who says hit me
At least he's not been voted for
The new Mayor of Whitby
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
Some say that he's a grafter
And causes many laughter
At least he's not been voted for
Or awarded any BAFTA!
 
Poor @Brian_Bilston
Clarkson back with his #GrandTour
Some say now that this is it
Alexa please just start this shit
At least he's not been voted for
Chief negotiator of Brexit!

Sunday, 20 November 2016

To our Ladies' Day director Elaine or Wow!

E by Gum from the banks of the Humber,
By eck from the outskirts of ezzle;
From t city of culture down t M62,
Upt A19 for t embezzling few!

We've to mind us P's, as well as us Qs,
Elaine ' s watchful eye ensures that we do;
Talk proper, talk right, talk Yorkshire sense,
Casting and planning she was immense.

Attention t detail, where is her medal?
Don't recall ever, spool missin from treddle:
A Fish splice, some dancing,
Some mincing of meat,
Encouragement for all, for them with left feet.

So much enjoyment, she put in such graft.
Lots of rescheduling, my how we laughed.
Coping wi holidays, and them not around,
Commitments for some, how others would frown!

But not sweet director, she coped wi first time,
Int head Tony Christie, spinning them lines,
Great fun we're the winners! My what a blast!
A big ta to Elaine a fine Yorkshire las!

And when propper trouble down at the mill
Shelley's voice left her she had to back fill
Took to the stage like the natural she is
My show must go on it's the name of show biz!

Hope she'll relax, don't want us missin or craving,
Holiday perhaps in Patrington Haven.
Take in a classic, maybe George Elliot,
(Trans-gender novelist believe it or not!)

Out in her garden, no more watching telly,
Fully equipped in toe capped white wellies;
Blue net to wear, keeps hair in its places;
A trip down to Sandown place bet on some races.

A night on the town, down at Cindarellas,
Surrounded by silks and effeminate fellas;
Forget all them lines and that planning balony,
Extra cheese please on quattro stagioni!

All roads they are leading this way Ammarillo,
Elaine's head we hope now hitting that pillow,
An end to them nightmares, farewell haunting screams
Magnificent job done no more broken dreams.

So if tha's a drink that's preferably tea,
Raise it up now to say toast with me:
You are the greatest, this play highly ranks;
To dearest Elaine, seriously though, thanks!

Monday, 14 November 2016

England vs Fiji

The Autumn breeze swirls around Twickenham stands
As we sit and wait with clasping hands
The flags flutter the fans utter
Eddie makes demands

The game will not be one of ease
Internationals never an easy breeze
Eddies stern your shirt is earned
A must win game to seize

Don't let South Sea islanders blow us of course
Cheer full voice  until you're hoarse
Ten from ten another then
Next must win game of course!

Standing tight stand up as one
Ready for the starting gun
Listen chaps no handout caps
Continue this momentum

In fine voice Sweet Chariots echoes
Victory comes to those
Stand up proud, sing out loud 
Defeat those from the Archipelagos

Come on England's chosen players
Like St George the Dragon slayer
Honour the Rose thats worn by those
Who answer English prayers!

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Hold Brexit for now


It’s been fudged by the high court judge.

Hard or soft it’s all aloft, pie in the sky,

As we wave good bye

To Brexit thoughts that come to nought

For now.

 

The hope for some, the dread for many,

Money for NHS is there any?

Where’s the £350m per week?

Hush! We no longer speak

For now.

 

Someone stole, or in black hole

It’s gone, Leavers scoring their own goal.

Pound is struggling, shares are juggling

Pension growth financiers smug (ling)

For Now.

 

Your money’s safe, new jobs create,

In Brexit’s wake, a Marmitegate.

Escape the clutches  if I understand

Article 50 ‘s all in hand,

For now.

 

Come March if you believe

It’s time to pack it’s time to leave

We’ll pay now for our country back

In Brexit’s new hardened back pack!

For Now!

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

The Jersey

Untouchable but by the few
Earned the right by the chosen who
Stand above, are worthy
To wear the Lions Jersey

Untouchable but by the few
Worn by those committed to
the game, its glorious journey
Who earn the Lions Jersey

Untouchable but by the few
The legends who have worn it too
Remember one thing firstly
It is more than just a Jersey