Wednesday, 5 September 2018
Habitat Soundscaping
Thursday, 30 August 2018
All welcome to John Lewis Kingston
All welcome to John Lewis,
Oh come on now be bold!
We hope that you all knew this,
Never knowingly undersold!
To the basement for your food wares;
Be careful mind your toes,
Take escalators, lifts or stairs,
Down to our Waitrose!
On this floor fine perfumery,
Jewellery and for soft skin care,
Home wares, cards and pharmacy,
Ornaments you'll find there.
Step up for ladies fashion,
To underwear or bedding,
If crockery or glassware's the passion,
It's the right way that you're heading!
Kitchen ware, utensils,
Home furnishings to see,
Coffee machines even pencils
Make your way to floor three!
Through passage via the artwork
Computers and TVs,
Restaurant or sports work out;
Toys where the kids will be!
Flooring, carpets, curtains,
You definitely need to see.
You maybe quite uncertain,
But please, well just ask me!
Menswear, clothes for children,
Please pop in and try things on.
Or click online and order them,
And we can bring along!
But we would love to greet you
Partners mean much more
It would be our greatest pleasure
To welcome you in store!
Friday, 17 August 2018
Big ears!
Why have you got such big red ears?
That stick out proudly causing sneers?
Around for clipping, thicking, flicking,
Hearing whispers, ripe for twisting.
First in the queue, not for IQ,
But here's big ears we'll stick on you.
Did you not think to trim them down?
Plastic surgery works wonders now.
Why have you got such flapping ears?
Did crocodile pull them and cause those tears?
Satellite dishes on the side of head,
Signals and sounds of what lies ahead.
Indian, African around the globe,
Like elephants ears your huge ear lobes!
Don't get caught in mild stiff breeze,
Lifted as a kite to trees.
We'll wind you in, you pin them back,
We'll get you fastest back on track!
Years being boxed, judged FA Cup,
Jug lugs things now on the up!
You may look like a chimpanzee,
Now found new roll within UC.
Designed especially to model these,
Or this, or those, or maybe these.
Trophear cabinet resides the mould,
Shining FA Cup in shimmering gold,
Unique design the heights I've reached,
Life's a beach but I've found my niche,
Three cheers big ears!
Hip hip hooray for grandes oreilles!
The question over so many years,
Why do you have such big red ears?
To be honest here's the answer handsome,
Noddy refused to pay the ransome!
Thursday, 7 June 2018
Lucky charms
Fate, lap of the gods,
Victory against all of the odds?
Give it some welly, pat Buddhas belly,
Watch it all sat glued in front of the telly!
Rub rabbits paws are we clutching at straws?
Cheering for England in our lucky drawers.
Luck of the Irish, lucky socks to be worn
Borrow some luck from a Leprechaun
Bird dropping balm, all staying calm
Clasping so closely to our lucky charms.
Biting our fingers, nibbling our nails.
Count lucky numbers, how can we fail?
Roy of the Rovers, find four leafed clover
Head in my hands until it's all over
Whistle is blown referee says its done
Would you believe it, without luck we won!
Oh how we shout, it was never in doubt!
Wednesday, 6 June 2018
Three Lioned Shirt
All those fallow years of hurt,
St George's Cross now waving high,
Hopes and dreams, oh how they fly!
To Moscow in search of Jules Rimet,
Coupe Du Monde, Potter wave thy magic wand
To the pressure oh how we respond.
Great grandfather's were cup holders:
Follow in their great footsteps,
Leaps of joy, lest we forget.
Play football of such gracious beauty;
Weave patterns of our Wilton best,
Play up to being the honoured guests!
Wordsworth, Keats our love is here.
Milton, Chaucer keep the rhythm,
Show the team that we are with em!
But of one thing you can be sure:
This is your chance of glory, gold
And we'll support you as things unfold!
Thursday, 31 May 2018
World Cup 2018
Everyone in England knows '66,
Since then wounds licked.
World Cup Willy, won't he?
Penance of the penalty!
Water under bridges,
Sadness, tears, near misses,
Failures and omissions.
Yellow cards, broken metatarsals
Spurs, Liverpool, Manchesters, Arsenal.
Talisman suspension not to mention
Golden generation holding hopes of the nation;
Losses, limp St George's Crosses:
Failed Managers, sacked bosses,
Golden balls, golden boots,
Fools gold fails at the roots.
But hope springs eternal, shoots!
We've had it all
Now we'll stand tall,
New hopes and dreams,
For this young team.
The game, from Russia with love.
Oh how we'll do it for you, Guv
Three Lions passion, the roar
The glory, new hopers, new dreamers
Every front room screamers.
I was one when we won,
Now this is the one!
More of Moore, Ball, Charlton, Styles;
It's been a while,
It's been a while,
This is the year, that we smile!
Tuesday, 29 May 2018
Ball tampering
We scraped a win by the skin of our teeth.
Chewing nails, but chewing seams, good grief!
Close one. Team on paper was as good as any;
Opening stand flattered to deceive, got many.
Middle order collapse, no wagging tail on hand
Innings foundation built on sand.
The sound of summer, leather on willow
Scent of linseed and of sand or brillo
Temper tantrum tampered ball
Oh how the mighty Aussies fall
Paper's journalistic scissors cutting tone
Taunted please do not phone home.
Reverse the charges. Coins now rolling
Team roughed up not by aggressive bowling
Brass in pockets red tape restricts
Oh how it grated. Captain's wounds licked
Fat lady sings now on banned stands
Sad paper headlines. Paper sands
Take rough with smooth
Cancerous growth has been removed
Masking tape papers over cracks
Defiant call, Struth we'll be back!
Memories eroded by the sands of time,
I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine!