Showing posts with label road rage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label road rage. Show all posts

Monday, 2 January 2017

Sorry I haven't a Clue comes to Kingston


As an antidote to rigid and sensible planning, Kingston council used a planning  think tank along the same lines as a popular Radio 4 panel game to drive change to road use within the borough.
"In order to bring Kingston into the 21st century we needed to do something creative" said Colin Wheeler head of Creative Initiatives at the council, "With the large grant from TFL, as well as continued questions around the value of the BBC TV licence fee we felt we had to create a programme to answers these questions and our strategy certainly did that" he said in a statement.
"Obviously there were a few funny looks within council chambers when Jack Dee entered to announce his involvement in the scheme, but bringing show regulars Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Jeremy Hardy to the team to assist with traffic planning was a no brainer" he added,  "and with the growth in electric vehicles we certainly had a coup there with Colin Cell at the helm of that initiative."
Samantha, another of the show's regulars was looking forward to her best laid plans being unveiled.
"Some people think we are a laughing stock, but what a programme." Added Wheeler. "The team really did create innovative answers to our problems and you only need to take a look at the results to see how successful the programme has been.

Scheme 1 Surbiton Crescent (Change the use of the road without sufficient signage or notification. Road users gamble as to whether they can drive down or not)
Scheme 2 One road for the use of another (Portsmouth Road a large arterial route is cut in half and a cycle lane built. Cars, lorries and busses fight to use the remaining half  )
Scheme 3 Car charades (Portsmouth Road - At special times of the day notified by a traffic lights  system, cars Blair their horns and pretend to be bicycles so can therefore use the cycle lane)
Scheme 4 Late arrivals (Most trips into Kingston)

Some critics have argued that comedy is a non transferable skill, but we have shown that if you put your mind to it, these types of creative collaborations can make the difference.
Other councils will be looking on with envy" he concluded.

Monday, 25 July 2016

No More Road Rage in Thames Ditton

The village of Thames Ditton
So lovely and so quaint
In Domesday book we're written
But built for cars we aint

St Leonards Road, the High Street
Cars parked aside the road
Drive careful it's a tight squeeze
On Station and Watts Road

The roads in our proximity
Are full of cars and vans
We don't like any toxicity
When walking out with prams

If you happen to drive thru
We're not a fast food take away
But a busy bustling village true
Not some dual carriage way

It requires a certain patience
Let oncoming traffic through
Especially if by the station
We'll thank you it if you do

We're of certain era
We're of a certain age
Instructions can't be clearer
Please no more road rage

No place for single finger salutes
This will cause much scorn
In our approach we're resolute
No more beeping horns

When stopping behind the parked cars
Or at pedestrian lights
Stay calm we want no lasting scars
Please be nice, polite

Be sensible with your parking
Leave a gap or two
For people to wait in
Let oncoming traffic through

Your car we know's important 
If doing the school run
You've Busy lives and time is scant
It's stressful and not fun

We'd appreciate it kindly 
And this is what we'd  like
If you're coming to Thames Ditton
Please walk or ride your bike!