Bottom Butter!

Ride100 few weeks to go
Lycra legs supple, stubble on show.
Days we're counting, tension mounting,
On hide toughened backside I am counting!

Come on Riders, get ready for the roar,
But be prepared for the saddle sore.
Soothing words from physio uttered,
Make sure you've packed your bottom butter!

Rasping, chaffing on softest skin;
This is the place where it does begin.
Start at the bottom, helps you rise to the top,
Firm foundations, makes sure you won't stop.

Don't want you falling, flat on your face
Having to pull out of this magnificent race.
Turning your training into one big farce
Because you forgot to look after your arse!

Left cheek, right cheek you could turn the other
But come on sister, come on brother,
A word of advice, it doesn't get easier
Look after your asset, your prized posterior

Here's to the Riders, preparation done
You'll be ready for riding miles in the sun.
Banter and hard work - now live your dream,
But don't forget the chamois cream!